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I was struck by this excerpt from the most recent edition of Range Widely by David Epstein. Here he is interviewing Brad Stulberg, author of the book The Practice of Groundedness:

DE: Ah. Fair enough. Seems like good advice. And on the advice note, you’ve actually reminded me of an unrelated piece of advice you espoused that I took to heart: to get involved with some real live Homo sapiens in my community. I acted on that one by joining the board of a phenomenal early childhood education center focused on poor families in my area. I’ve definitely found it challenging; it has led me to do some event logistics — not my strong suit. But I’ve also found it uniquely rewarding, often even more so than volunteering I’ve done with much more prominent national nonprofits. Please explain.

BS: I’m so glad you said this! Here’s the deal: at the risk of sounding woo-woo (though decades of psychology research and clinical practice support this) we are looking for love in all the wrong places. When we are intimately involved with other human beings in the real world, working on meaningful projects, having meaningful conversations, and striving toward meaningful goals, we don’t feel the need to go on the internet to look for status, validation, and love there.

I’ve been reading Bowling Alone which in many ways anticipates these themes. As a society, we have retreated from in person, coordinated action, towards activities that can be done individually and in aggregate, we’ve gotten less happy.

I wonder if we should be thinking about in person participation the same way we think about exercise — something that’s required for us to have healthy and fulfilling lives?